Why Assertiveness Feels So Hard And How to Reclaim Your Voice with Confidence New Blog Post

If you’re a recovering people-pleaser, you might often find yourself freezing, fading into silence, or avoiding difficult conversations altogether. Assertiveness can feel like a mountain too steep to climb. I get it, I’ve been there.

For years, I feared conflict, rejection, and upsetting others. Deep down, I believed that if I spoke my truth, I’d lose people I cared about. But that wasn’t my truth. That was trauma speaking. I was so desperate for approval and external validation that I sacrificed my own needs.

If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone.

What’s Behind People-Pleasing and Why Assertiveness Is So Tough

People-pleasing often comes from fear. Fear of rejection. Fear of conflict. Fear of being “too much.” It’s rooted in low self-worth and a need for external approval, making emotional boundaries feel impossible to set.

But here’s the thing: being assertive isn’t about being aggressive or harsh. It’s about reclaiming your voice and honouring your needs with clarity and calm.

Meet Your New Best Friend: The Truth Statement

One powerful tool that transformed my life and that I teach in the People-Pleaser Detox Challenge is the Truth Statement.

What is a Truth Statement?

It’s a simple framework to express your feelings, needs, and boundaries clearly and without guilt.

It has three parts:

1. How you feel

2. Why you feel that way

3. What you need or the boundary you’re setting

Using this framework helps you speak with clarity. You stop over-explaining or self-sabotaging. You honour your needs and start advocating for yourself. And that feels freeing.

How to Start Practising Assertiveness Today

1. Notice when you self-silence or apologise unnecessarily.

2. Use the Truth Statement to prepare what you want to say.

3. Start small. Assert your needs in low-stakes situations.

4. Remind yourself: your voice matters and your feelings are valid.

Ready to Break Free from People-Pleasing?

If you’re ready to stop putting yourself last, reclaim your confidence, and set emotional boundaries without guilt, the 7-Day People-Pleaser Detox is your next step.

You’ll discover how to stop people pleasing, build healthy emotional boundaries, reclaim your self-worth, and start speaking your truth with confidence.

Click here to get started the detox is free, and you can save up to $50 if you continue with the full 21-day challenge.

Need Personalised Support?

If assertiveness still feels overwhelming, I have two coaching spots available in May 2025 for one-on-one support. Book a free Clarity Call with me to explore how we can work together to help you step into your full potential.

People-pleasing is rooted in fear, not truth. When we break free, we don’t just change our lives, we help raise the collective consciousness toward courage, love, and authenticity.

Let’s rise together.